OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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