Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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