The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
