You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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