If i come over, it means nothing
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
