I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
