I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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