youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
