Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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