my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
