Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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