normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
