it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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