come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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