Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just pee around me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
