You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
