I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
