i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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