I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize