Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
