U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
