Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
