Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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