She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
