Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
