Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
