I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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