hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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