just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
