You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
