So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
