remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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