I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
