you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
