in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize