Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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