I feel like I'm in dance class right now
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Duck Duck Cougar?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
