Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
