well I can't set my house on fire every night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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