But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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