you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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