every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
