is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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