Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
