So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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