i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
