Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My ass is underappreciated
I need water and some morals
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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