I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
