there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
