Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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