My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
