So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
