you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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