i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
