every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
