dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
