when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize