did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
