Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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