i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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