We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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