don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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