I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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