I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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