alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's just like the Real World with babies
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
