I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
